Thatcher: The Pessimism Beast

Today I found out that I am a secret pessimist who uses school supplies and clothing to ease my pain. All of this isn't necessarily a bad thing because I end up with pens and cute clothing but it is still not a healthy habit to have.

There I was, writing my SURPRISE speech essay, which is supposed to be about who I am as a person, and I completely concentrated on my inability do tell anyone about my problems and my inability to deal with them. So I "act out." Today after work I went into Wal-Mart to buy Post-It Notes and there was a sale on school supplies and I nearly peed my pants. I ended up buying pens, pencils, the Post-Its, highlighters, and new earphones (all of which I did not need). I diagnosed myself (go psychology!) and said that I unconsciously bought all of those items because I haven't dealt with my anxiety about asking Joel to a study group and any other things that I am dealing with but can't think of. I tend to do this a lot so spending twenty dollars on school supplies is actually no real shock. Now for the pessimism...

I rarely ever think positive because I always think the worst will happen. I could have talked to Joel on Tuesday but I didn't for the fear of rejection. Well not anymore! I grew the balls (I can feel them) and tomorrow I am going to ask him to a study group! And now I have to do it otherwise I wont have anything to blog about tomorrow. Damn technicalities.