Denver Day Five: Never In TeXXXas

Seeing as how I can barely remember what happened yesterday, yay sleep, I'm just gonna recap one situation. Actually, I remember a little more so a couple of situations.

Nic, Nicole, Emilee, Mack, and I went to this place called Famous Pizza. It's like having a Brooklyn pizza in Denver, greasy/fantastic. Before we left I had to go to the restroom and let me say this, pizza places have the worst bathrooms and Famous was no exception. I actually think this place was the origin of that simple truth. I am probably exaggerating but I've already started typing so let me set the scene. First to get to the bathroom I had to walk through these blue door hanging beads because apparently this is 1967. Then, I walked into the bathroom and realized I couldn't close the door because there was a rock holding the door open so I figured the door was kept open for a reason. This doesn't sound like a problem until I tell you that it was a one toilet bathroom, like Quiznoe's (spell check) except there's probably a higher rape count. So I peed with the door open in a restaurant. It was my own fault for not even attempting to close the door but whatever, I blame Famous.

Then we decided to go walking. The first place we went to was Goodwill and I'm gonna go ahead and say it's the most "high class" thrift store I've ever been to after Buffalo Exchange. Period. The place had a basement, A BASEMENT!!! How cool is that?! But that's not even the best part, what I bought is the best part. First I went to the book section. I saw that they had The Da Vinci Code and I lunged for it. I think I am probably one of the last people on Earth who still have not read that book. Not any more! So after I finish The Kite Runner, The Road, Then We Came To The End, and This Side of Paradise I'll read The Da Vinci Code. By the way it was $1.99. Suck it Half-Priced!!! Then I saw that they had season two of Greek. Don't judge, it's the only ABC Family show I like and I bought it, new, for $3.oo. It was worth it. Anywhere else that would have cost me almost $40 bucks for both but I bought it for five. Throw your hands up for bargain shopping!!!

We kept walking and we fell upon a pipe shop. I think that's what they're called, where they sell bongs and shit and stuff and whatnot. I don't even know why we went in there, it was so weird. There was only one guy there (the clerk) and he commented on everything anyone said. Nicole and I started slowly moving towards the door in an effort to get the others moving with us. It worked the third time we did it.

Then for the finale we got the bright idea to walk into a porn shop. Wow, let me just say that it was the most elaborate porn store I've ever been to. Like, legit porn shop, leather and all. They actually checked our ID's, so you know it's good. I have never seen more penises in my entire life. They were in dildo form, movie form, magazine form, and even birthday card form. Birthday card form!!! You here that Alex and Claire? I got a birthday coming up and consider this hint dropping. Nah, I'm just kidding (or am I?) No I am. They had this dildo there that you could put fake jizz in and it would come (for lack of a better pun) out of the top. Weird stuff. But out of all the leather, skimpy "underwear", and glass body parts you want to know what Nic and Nicole bought? Shoes. We went to a porn store to buy something we could buy at a Footlocker or the late Just For Feet. We did however encounter what we believed to be a lesbian. Dyke hair, tattoos, boy clothes, bad jokes. Yep, she's a lesbian. And these other guys walked in and went or the BDSM (bondage) section. Yeah, kooky. Needless to say, we all left happy, healthy, and as clean as someone could after walking into a place like that.

Tonight Nic, Nicole, and I are going to dinner with Edgar (which I am EXCITED about) and then it's off to clubbing!!!! I'm really starting to miss everyone back home, Alex, Claire, and Brandon. I actually really miss Brandon a lot, more than I thought I would. And Samiat just found out I have a blog. Fuck my life.

Thatcher