Because This Seems Totally Unfair

Since nothing is going on school wise (I took tests) I am going to take a moment to complain about the absurdities of life.

1. I thought I was okay being single and as always I am surprised that I am not. Weaker than I think or just lonely? The latter. I've been alive for nineteen years and I'm still not getting any. Suddenly that Simple Plan CD is making complete sense. I can't help but wonder what is wrong with me. I am smart and I look good in boot cut jeans, what's more to love? Maybe I am just doing something wrong. I'm listening to Nicole and actively not looking for affection but that's not working. Although it may help if I "not look" everyday instead of just when I see someone ugly.

2. I still cannot decide what to do with my life. This has become a weekly occurrence for me, I get certain then I get scared and I think it's because I feel as though I can only do one thing. The "I can't have it all" sentiment. Right now I am flipping between a screenwriter and a columnist. I feel like I would be a good columnist, but then I have so many ideas flipping through my mind at once that I feel like I could be a good screenwriter too. And look at Diablo Cody, she does both. Albeit she could use a little work but she still does both so why can't I?

3. School is scaring me. Not community college but university. I've been planning my back up and I have decided that UNT would be a good back up if UT doesn't work out. Why? Because it is close and mind-numbingly easy to get into. I've been accepted twice already. But I don't want to. I would rather go to UT. I feel like it represents all that my college career could be. The fun and excitement of a new place. Packing my bags and moving to a place that's more than thirty minutes away. The fact that pretty people live in cities. And if I end up at UNT I will feel like a monumental failure because I ended up where I started. If I go to UNT I'll be stuck in DFW forever. I'll be tied to the fantasies that I never lived and all I'll have to show for it are the excuses for never have acted out on said dreams. I would let myself down and wonder how I ended up in the suburbs married to someone I barley know with my Asian baby girl trying on my shoes. I cannot not let that vivid imaginary memory happen. Suck it Denton, I'm going Capitol!

Thatcher

Cough Drops are so good.

I've had way too much nyquil.

I wasted today by not doing homework, and using Rosetta Stone.

First round of tests are over, they went really well.

I still have nothing to talk about, man.



Claire

I have a cold.

And I blame the girl in Mandarin behind me who keeps coughing all over the place. Bitch.

I took a psych test today. I was early and the Lyceum was pretty much empty (seats 500 students) when some asshole sat down next to me on my left. Apparently his ego makes him think he is a super hot ladies' man because 4 girls came with him, the fourth sat on my right, so the seating looked like this:

girl1 girl2 girl3 boy CLAIRE girl4

They picked a stupid way to sit. Boy and girl4 were talking across me every chance they got. They were hitting on each other like I couldn't hear them. I did have my headphones in, but my iPod was off because I was cramming for the test so I got to hear "Oh yeah, I have some tickets to the Cowboys game, I don't know who I should take, haha." "Oh really? That sounds like fun" "Oh hahaha *hair flick* do you wanna go?"

And then that asshole attempts to focus his flirting energies at me. He asked if I studied and whatever else is class related in an awkward I'm-too-sexy-for-you voice. I shut it down with yes/no answers and turned my iPod on. HA. I just wanted to give you guys an example of the jerks at my school.

I have two tests Friday, so I am going to return to my books.

I am addicted to K-Pop. And Klondike Bars. The sandwiches, not the hard-shelled ones.


Claire

It's Been A While Since My Day's Been Made

After a week of waiting I finally have my computer back. I am so glad that I have the option to not search the Internet on a 4 inch screen. Makes me feel complete. Okay, school update time!!!

Day One: In art history I walk in, take a syllabus from my teacher. Who I would have given an 8 for effort on her clothing choices for that day - gray dress paired with black leggings - but then I looked down at her kindergarten sandals...no thanks. That is a 4 for you teach. Anyway, walk in and instantly I see this guy that is way cute and I take the initiative and sit in the empty seat next to him. Later on he asks me for a piece of paper, I gave it to him. Nothing has come from this by the way, I just like to reminisce on meaningless memories.

Nothing has happened in any of my classes so I am just gonna fast forward to today where I received two compliments while sitting in the hallway waiting for my environmental biology lab to start. I was sitting there and the two people in my lab group were sitting with me. The girl says, "I like your jacket." I was wearing my black horizontal stripped cardigan purchased from Forever 21. And the guy says, "Yeah, I have noticed that you are always well-dressed when you come to class." Can you say best compliment ever?! I loved it.

Okay, now for "sad" news. Brandon and Kailan broke up. They are gonna try the "let's be friends thing." I honestly think they are starting that venture a little too soon, but what can you do? I'm not excited about the breakup only because I know how much Brandon was hurt by it but he is doing better now and I am glad to be there for him.

And another thing, I am definitely gonna do better about mentioning Brandon on the blog. As in, not as frequently. I feel odd about talking about him so much even though he is such a huge part of my life. I don't know, maybe mention him in relation to me from now on. I only added the breakup thing as to bring closure to that whole dislike of the now ex I had. Does that make sense? Anyway, less frequently it is.

I have so been sucking at work lately. My apathy has really taken a toll on my work life. I am being so slow and I've been making stupid mistakes. I need a fire. I need something to make me work my butt off at my place of occupation and at school too. I cannot deal with a sophomore slump right now. I need to make it to Austin.

Thatcher